You've probably noticed you haven't heard much from me here lately. Part of it is a crazy work/travel schedule. The other part...well, frankly, there hasn't been much to write about. You could say I'm officially in a dry spell. Or, as I prefer to think of it, getting the junk out.
I made the mistake of dragging some crap from 2015 — and let's face it, if I'm really being honest, 2014 — with me into the New Year. Not to mention that my January started with a root canal, a flat tire and my kitchen flooding in that order. Weelll, I might be exaggerating that last part just a little bit, but you get the idea.
So I figured I'd take this time to do a little self evaluating and maybe figure out exactly what it is that I'm still holding onto in my past that's ultimately standing between me and my future.
I was talking things through with a friend recently who suggested that maybe I should write a letter to my childhood self. You know the one. The one before all the fear, insecurity and self doubt creeps in and tries to take the whole place down.
Yeah, I had the same reaction. Ridiculous. But, my attitude has always been you can't knock it 'til you try it, and at this point, I'm willing to try anything if it'll help me get unstuck.
So here it is. Open, honest and unedited, and you know what? I realized I might have learned a little something since this whole thing started, and that maybe I should listen to myself and start following my own advice.
Dear Tam,
We're going to play a little game. I want you to close your eyes and think of one of your favorite, very best days. Where were you? What were you doing? Who were you with? What were you thinking about? How did you feel?
You got it? Good. I know mine, and it was suspended somewhere above the desert, crack climbing in Indian Creek last fall. Now that, that right there is the good stuff. The you you're looking at in that moment, that's who you really are. Remember that, hang onto it and let everything else go.
I tell you this because there's going to come a time in your life in the not so distant future when it feels like suddenly the tables have been turned, and the whole world is against you, trying to tell you everything you're not.
"You're not pretty enough, you're not smart enough, you're not accomplished enough. You have no talent, and no one wants you on their team." Oh, and my personal favorite, "If you'd just been a little more of this or a little bit less of that, things would have worked out differently and everything would be o.k."
Well, that's bullsh*t. It's nothing but your own fear talking and you gotta let that sh*t go.
Understand it's not going to be easy and you're going to make mistakes. Glorious, amazing mistakes. It's part of the process. Trust it and know the mistakes are your sign that you're on the right path. You've simply got to live the moment you're in to get where you're going.
This is your story that you and only you get to write, and I can't wait to see where it goes.
Now go on and get after it, I got your spot. We got this.
Love always,
Me xx
P.S. If you can avoid the whole getting braces, glasses and a bad perm in the same week, do it. Will definitely make things a lot easier.
photo: tommy chandler
